Relationship Challenge: Drivers

by Les Palmer, Celebrate Recovery

What are drivers?  They are the mechanisms by which behavior occurs.  We have a drive for water and food.  Without those two items we could not exist.  They drive us to eat and drink. We also have a drive to reproduce. God wired us this way.  Genesis 1:27-28:  “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply;”

These are not the only drivers behind behavior and if we can identify the drivers behind the behaviors, it is much easier to change behaviors. Abraham Maslow famously constructed a hierarchy of needs (drivers).  A simplistic view is we need to live today, we need to live tomorrow, we need to belong, we need to feel important, we need to contribute.  It is our survival needs we are focusing on today. More precisely our need to survive tomorrow or reproduce or fulfill God’s decree “be fruitful and multiply.”

Traditional religious settings do not address well what happens when that drive to reproduce goes off the rails. Yet, in our society, it goes off the rails quite often.  We see it in child abuse, divorce, abortion (unwanted pregnancies), marital infidelity, and pornography. While porn has been around since the beginning, think Asherah poles, Ba’al and hieroglyphic paintings, the internet made it much easier to bring into our homes.  Here are some numbers from 2006, which are considerably less than current numbers but give us a reference point:  64% of Christian men and 15% of Christian women say they watch porn at least once a month. 43% of senior pastors and youth pastors say they have struggled with pornography in the past.  Yet, Only 7% of pastors report their church has a ministry program for those struggling with porn. Meanwhile, 90% of teens and 96% of young adults are either encouraging, accepting, or neutral when they talk about porn with their friends and 28,258 users are watching pornography every second. (https://www.covenanteyes.com/pornstats/)

Ridgecrest is fortunate in that we do have a ministry to address what happens when our sexual drive leads to destructive behaviors inside our relationships.  That ministry is called Celebrate Recovery where we handle uncomfortable situations in a non-judgmental atmosphere.  Anonymity and confidentiality are cornerstones of our Celebrate Recovery ministry. Contact us today. Unchecked destructive behaviors only increase in their frequency.

Celebrate Recovery meets every Thursday night, beginning at 6 p.m. at Ridgecrest Baptist Church in Springfield, Missouri.